11-11-07 #Disciple Bible Study Titled: "Something Beautiful"

[Disciple]

‘How To Love Someone You Can’t Stand’
‘Something Beautiful’
Romans 12:17
Intro.
In the last Bible Study I said that most bad relationships get a start when we get pretty emotional. Either you are emotional and especially sensitive, or the other person is emotional and especially insensitive. How do you react when you have been wronged or hurt? I dare say that most often when we’ve been hurt we stew about it for a while. Then after a good, slow burn, do you become more or less emotional?
Then what happens the next time you see that person who wronged you? Let me guess, you treat them really nice, right? You give them a very nice compliment, right? Probably not, rather we either explode and say something that is really cutting and hurting or we snub them, avoid them, curse them.
That really helps us, doesn’t it? NO! it doesn’t help us at all. That is the reason we need to look closely at this next step in learning how to love someone you can’t stand.
In this Bible Study now we want to focus on the second sentence of verse 17- Provide things honest in the sight of all men. The words that are translated ‘provide’ literally meant ‘take thought for.’ Essentially this word means ‘perceiving beforehand’ and it carries the idea of ‘thinking something through before you react.’
The Christian Counselors New Testament translates this as ‘Plan ahead to do what is fine in the sight of all men.’ Does this describe the way you react when you’ve been hurt and wronged? Have you planned ahead how you are going to react? The next step for us in learning to love someone we can’t stand is to plan ahead to do something beautiful.
I. Plan Ahead
What does it mean to ‘plan ahead?’ most of the time when we respond to a hurt we are just reacting. We have been wronged and so we strike back without taking any time to think through what we are doing. The reaction is guided and marked more by our emotional feelings at the time.
So plan ahead means that instead of reacting with our emotions we are going to plan ahead how we are going to respond. Invariably you are going to see that person again, so what are you going to do when you see them again? Are you going to react in a way that is just going to make things worse?
Is the relationship going to continue to crumble because you are acting from a knee-jerk reaction and impulse? Or are you going to sit down, think it through and come up with a plan for your response? How much time have you spent praying about how you are going to respond?
How much counsel have you sought from mature Christian friends? When you take the time to plan ahead how you are going to respond when you have been wronged or hurt, then you can be and are ready to respond in the right way. Remember Paul is forbidding taking personal revenge when you have been wronged.
So ‘getting even’ and ‘hurting them like they hurt me’ and ‘refusal to forgive’- those are not options for those who want to do the right thing. When you have been wronged, an evil has been done. No one is denying that. But we need to remember what Paul has told us about overcoming evil.
Romans 12:21
Look how Paul says this in another passage.
1 Thess. 5:15
You can’t be kind to each other by reacting with the first thing that comes to your mind. The first thing that comes to your mind is ‘get even.’ Plan ahead of time, work on your plan of action now, before you are wronged. Know what your plan of action is so you can carry it out when the times comes.
II. Do What Is Beautiful
Verse 17 requires that we ‘do what is right.’ The word that is translated as ‘right’ here is the word that is usually translated as ‘good.’ It refers to what is morally right or morally good. It describes an ‘outer’ goodness, a goodness that is seen. Thus it can be described as ‘good things.’ It is calling for a good action on our part. Actually the word also can be translated as ‘beautiful.’
When you have been wronged and hurt, Paul is telling you to do a beautiful thing for the one who hurt you. I said at the beginning of this series we were going to be talking about some radical things and this is certainly one of them. I mean, who has ever heard of doing something good to one who has hurt you? Well, I can answer that question. Jesus thought of it, Paul thought of it and we are to think this way too.
Let’s make the application of what Paul is saying here. Suppose someone has lied about you, what are you suppose to do? Paul is telling you to plan to do something beautiful for them. Paul doesn’t tell us specifically what you are to do. Every situation will be different, but in every situation we are to do what is right, good and beautiful.
This is really radical isn’t it? This is the reason that this is seldom practiced, it’s hard to do. I mean, after all, who wants to do something beautiful for someone who has hurt you? It certainly is much easier to preach than it is to practice. But this is what the Bible is clearly teaching us to do. Why in the world would God give us a teaching like this and expect us to be able to do something like this?
The simplest answer I can give you is because that is exactly what God did for you and me. We had sinned against God, we had wronged God and what did God do for us? God did the most beautiful thing that any of us could ever imagine. God came up with a plan, the plan to save us. God gave Jesus his Son to die for you and me when we didn’t deserve it.
Romans 5:6-9
III. So All Can See
There may be some confusion about this last idea. Again let’s look at the phrasing of verse 17.
Romans 12:17
‘In sight of all men’ is the phrase that might cause some confusion and misunderstanding. If we just take the phrase, we might think Paul is telling us to use human standards of what is right. We know that everybody has different opinions about what is right and what is wrong.
That’s the reason we cannot use human standards. So what is meant by this phrase? Literally this reads ‘Before or in the sight of all men.’
Matt 5:16
Our actions are to be seen and known by others, simply because we have named the name of Jesus Christ and profess to live by his standards, others is watching us. Especially those who do not claim Jesus as Savior are watching us and they are quick to note when our actions do not match up with what we profess to believe. At least in their minds, this gives them reason to yell ‘hypocrite.’
So we can conclude here that our actions must be memorable and convicting to everyone, not just to the one who wronged us. Our response to the wrong we have suffered should be such that it turns others to the Lord whom we profess to love and whose word we profess to practice.
Conc.
If you are wronged, get a plan. Get a beautiful plan. A beautiful plan that when it is carried out everyone will take note of the good, beautiful thing you have done. They will be convinced that you indeed are living your life by the standards of Jesus Christ.
If you are in a situation where you have been wronged here is what you need to do.
Think through your situation where most likely you would blow up or clam up or criticize and condemn, plan out an action for good that you are going to do the next time you see that person.
This is the plan that God’s Word gives us.