Ver young christian father seeks help with very young wife who seeks an abortion

[juden6940]

Hello.
My name is John, and I did not know if I should write and seek advice for mine and my wife's story or not. i don't want to go to my family just yet though. I want advice that is fresh my strangers.
Me and my wife grew both grew up in christian family's, but find ourselves married teenagers now at 15 and 17.
We admittedly got pregnant two years ago at 15 and 13 when we were dating, and my girlfriend gave birth on her 14'th birthday to a baby girl.
We had to make major changes in our lifes. We both quit school and are homeschooling now. My wife had to quit the things she loves like cheerleading, basketball and volleyball in school, and I had to quit soccer and track. We'll never have a normal highschool experience now.
Our parents had us get married during this past summer when my wife turned 15, and our daughter 1. We live as a family right now in her parents apartment abover their garage rent free, until we are older. This is so we can save money, and my wife can still be close and learn from her mom.
I work for my father in law's concrete company, trying to take care of my little family while she is a stay at home mom.
My new wife is 6 months away from her 16'th birthday and pregnant again, and wants an abortion this time, because she says she is scared. We have not told either of our families yet, and don't know what to do.

[seekHm1st]

My advice to you John, is to lovingly try to steer your young wife into placing your child up for adoption. An abortion would be tragic, not only for the baby, but for your wife, who would be risking both her own state of physical and mental health. Though God's grace is always present and available, and He is faithful to forgive, your wife would likely spend the rest of her life looking back at "what might have been." It is something that she might never recover from. Certainly, her life would not be the same, to say nothing of how it may affect your marriage.

It would also have an affect on your extended families and your relationships there. Don't underestimate the numbers of couples out there who ache inside over not having a child of their own. There are many out there who want nothing more in life than to provide a loving home for a child. You can both give that chance to one such couple.

You are both incredibly young to be parents, and having your daughter must have demonstrated how precious life is. Don't ignore that. You may want to seek advice from a crisis pregnancy center about how best to talk to your wife and ask what they can do for you both in regards to your wife's unborn baby. I suggest you go to http://www.care-net.org/ and check it out. You might find it very helpful.

God bless,
seekHm1st

[juden6940]

Well, I don't want an abortion at all, and I think in her heart my wife does still want the baqby, but is scared on how we will handle it with her still 15and a half. You are right, we do have the help of family, and they will be angry again at first, but will settle down, because we are married and know that we love one another very much and are committed to our lil family. I am just trying to make my wife understand this, andf that after our second baby would be born, then we could go on birth control like we should have on our wedding night already.
She is such a small girl that she barely even looks pregnant, but the doctor says that she is 4 months along already. ( don't even know how far along you have to be before an abortion is illegal, but I don't I don't want it with us.
This situation has also been taking attnetion away from the daughter we already have.
Admittedly when we were married, we didn't use protection, and that is our fault. No, we wanted to wait until we were out of our teenage years before having another child. A few years ago, I never would have thought I'd be married and have two child all before the age of 18, and a young wife.
Thank you fr the advice, and thinking of us
Well, I don't want an abortion at all, and I think in her heart my wife does still want the baqby, but is scared on how we will handle it with her still 15and a half. You are right, we do have the help of family, and they will be angry again at first, but will settle down, because we are married and know that we love one another very much and are committed to our lil family. I am just trying to make my wife understand this, andf that after our second baby would be born, then we could go on birth control like we should have on our wedding night already.
She is such a small girl that she barely even looks pregnant, but the doctor says that she is 4 months along already. ( don't even know how far along you have to be before an abortion is illegal, but I don't I don't want it with us.
This situation has also been taking attnetion away from the daughter we already have.
Admittedly when we were married, we didn't use protection, and that is our fault. No, we wanted to wait until we were out of our teenage years before having another child. A few years ago, I never would have thought I'd be married and have two child all before the age of 18, and a young wife.
Thank you fr the advice, and thinking of us.

I very much regret getting my girlfriend pregnant in the first place two years ago. We never should have did what we did two years ago, and will never have a normal teenage life as a result, but I love my wife and hopefully kids very much now, and will do anything to take care of them and protect them, and hold them in my arms. I work around 55 hours a week to make sure we have evrything we need, and to also save money for hopefully a house someday in the future, and also maybe to go to college part time. I would want my wife to go first before me, being a stay at home mom. She can even take online classes, but ofcourse I still want her to beable to see her friends as well.

I am still trying to get her to keep our child for us. I don't think I could live with myself if I give our child up for adoption. I want him or with us, and our little family together.

[domoore]

Children are such a blessed GIFT! I too would encourage you to have the baby- and prayerfully consider what God would have you to do with that child. Adoption is a wonderful option- but I know too- keeping that baby will work out as well. And OH the sweet blessings! May God's hand, favor and grace rest on you and your precious ones! I would offer one more thought as it were-- Abortion is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. It would be the mistake of a lifetime. My sister in law was young as you both are- and not out of high school when she got pregnant- and had an abortion. I can not tell you how many times that has haunted her over the years and she is only 43. The uncertainties- and fear and anxiety of pregnancy are all only temporary problems- and will pass. Trust me! I have had 5 children- and those fears and anxieties are a normal part of it! But to terminate a life??? That is irreversible- and permanent-- scarring the mother physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

I shall pray for you and your family as you seek God's will in this- be for certain though- HIS will is NOT abortion.

Blessings,
domoore

[juden6940]

Thank you domoore and seekHm1st for your caring advice.
I just wanted to say thank you very much to those who have given us advice, and yes my wife has decided to keep our baby. We had a long talk with our families, and have actually made plans to go in for an ultra sound soon, when it's time to.
We do want more children in the future, but only when we are in our twenties then. When we first were married this past summer, we admittedly never thought about using birth control. Now we will.

[domoore]

In seeking counsel with others- including your family- you have shown wisdom beyond your years.

May God's favor and many blessing rest on you and yours. Keep walking in the ways of the Lord!

Juden all the advice from those given so far are from Godly men and you and your wife i believe are on Gods Path and are so blessed to be having children at this age and them being Healthy and thats one of the most important things. your wisely seeking God! Keep Praying,, ,you fell to the trappings of this world these days,your gona have this child,,because 4 months is way to far to have an abortion and not take such a great risk of not just killing the Lovley new child but your wife whom i see you love so much.Pray! through God all is possible.
If adoption is Gods Path it will be shown to you and thiers no shame or Guilt with God ,Jesus Took that ,,were to think forward and right now Look forward to caring for that wife and the child you have now and the one soon to be.
We Love you and yours just as God Does, Your In everyones Prayers on Christian-Chat.net
Your Friend In Christ
DadSonDaughter

[juden6940]

thank you. We actually went in for an ultra sound today, and the doctor thinks we are having another baby girl. I am outnumbered 3 to one.
Yes, I do love my wife very much, and I do feel blessed to have her and my children. We made some mistakes early on, but we are doing our best now and loving one another deeply.
We argue about certain thing like intimacy issue. she has more of a need for intimacy and love making than I do, not that I don't want to make love though, I very much do with her. I do love holding her in my arms. We also have financal concenrs at times as well, disagreements.
Overall though, we are doing well now.
we went out look for maternity dresses today for her, and we are both very excited nw that our parents do know.

[juden6940]

I am not going to give my baby girl up for adoption though, no mater how tough it is, and neither will my wife. She is ours, and our love made her tog. It will be hard, but I know we will do it.

PTL Your on Gods path <big Smile>