Unload your burdens...

[domoore]

I believe there are two ways of defining our "Troubles."

I will share with you from my own experience to illustrate my point. A few weeks ago, we went to the last ballgame for the summer. It was in a town approximately 25 miles away. I decided to take my 1985 collector's Thunderbird out for evening. The three oldest kids were going to the game and the two little ones were at Grandma's. So, the kids and I took off in the Thunderbird to watch this last Tournament game. After the game was over, my car would not start. It had gas in it- It only has 61, 000 miles on it- but it is 22 years old. We still do not know why it would not start (by the way- it started just fine the next day.) Needless to say - this was troubling to me. Two families stayed for about an hour after the game trying to help me get the old car going. To complicate matters further, the men who were helping me with the car got to checking fuses on the interior. One of them inadvertently hit the door lock button the drivers door- and then shut the door to the car- with the keys, my purse and cell phone all still in the car! They felt so bad! In the meantime, my son Truman was playing with some of the other boys (from these two families which were helping us.) The boys got to throwing rocks- and were told by me- and the other parents to "stop throwing rocks!" A little later, someone started screaming and crying. One of the boys was hit in the forehead with a rock- by my son Truman! I was so aggravated! I explained to Truman later that there were two kinds of trouble. One kind of trouble can't be helped- like our car not starting. The other kind of trouble- is the kind that can be prevented-- like throwing rocks.
And so troubles- or trials and tribulations can be broken into TWO categories-
NUMBER ONE: "Trials beyond your control" - such as illness, death, permanent disabilities, accidents, kids who refuse to be helped- these are all things out of our control... These are the things in life that happen- we do not cause them- we have no control over them- it just happens.
You may eat a healthy vegetarian diet- get check ups- have a regular exercise routine and still have a heart attack or cancer by the age of 38.
You could do everything right as far as raising your children go- have them in Sunday school and church each week, pray with them and for them, help them with homework, be the little league coach- and they could still choose to live a life in complete rebellion to their upbringing...

The troubles I have been referring to would include the "life stuff"-- or rather the trials/tribulations that happen to you. God never promised or even indicated that He would "never" give us more than we can handle. But rather that He would walk through those troubles and trials with us- and carry our burdens for us- even carry us! (As intimated in the famous poem "Footprints") (When you read the word "Burden" this word means things that go beyond a "normal load" that one could be expected to carry on their own.) This what the Apostle Paul was referring to when he said in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 'And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." ....for when I am weak, then I am strong.' Paul had just been sharing with the church at Corinth how he had asked God three times to remove this "thorn in the flesh." And God spoke clearly to Paul- those words in verse 9, "My grace is sufficient for you." God often times allows us difficulties to draw us nearer to Him. I know that has been one of the many blessings during this difficult season of my life- I have never been closer to the Lord than I have been during these past several years! I am amazed at God's faithfulness and love! He has used this season in my life to draw me closer to Him. And I have made that clear choice to come close under His sheltering wings of love.

Simply put, these are heartaches beyond our control. They are burdensome to our hearts. (Burdensome- remember burden means the weight of it is beyond the normal load we could be expected to carry.) These things break our hearts and cause great pain. God never promised that he would only give us what we could "handle" of these kinds of burdens. Take a moment to consider this- Who gets the glory if "we can handle it all?" We do- not God. Scripture time and again supports the idea of us having more than we can "handle." We can look to the book of Job or study the life of the Apostle Paul- who was ship wrecked and beaten and persecuted and imprisoned. You can even look to the life of Jesus Himself- who wept in the garden- asking God to "Let this cup pass from Me; yet not as I will, but as You will." (Matthew 26:39)

I believe there are at least four reasons for God allowing us more 'burdens' than we can "handle"
1. So others can minister to us- and exercise their spiritual gifts (2 Corinthians 1:4) "...so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God." see also Galatians 6:2
2. So we will draw closer to God.
3. For God's glory- His grace really is sufficient!
4. So we will learn to trust God to "handle" these things in our lives- thereby increasing our faith in Him.

Moving on ...
NUMBER TWO: "Trials that could have been or can be prevented"- such as dating too soon after the death of a spouse, not paying your taxes, not taking time to properly maintain your car, or maybe even speeding up to 70 miles an hour in a 55 mph zone! These are things that we do- that cause us heartache and trouble and pain- and really these heartbreaking situations could have been prevented. Generally speaking, this category implies action or inaction of some kind which results in trials and troubles- but not necessarily BURDENS (beyond what we can normally be expected to carry on our own- though if Truman had put that other little boy's eye out- that would have become a BURDEN too great for either one to carry. For Truman it would have been in the form of guilt-knowing that it could have been prevented-- For the other little boy it would have become a "Trial Beyond his control" as in #1- a burden which he did not cause and could not help.) There were actions that either should have been taken OR avoided to prevent these heartaches. (My son Truman should not have been throwing rocks, you should always drive the speed limit, you should pay your taxes... you get the picture!)

I certainly believe that "Self-Imposed Burdens" and "Other Imposed Burdens" would fall under this category- of trials that can be prevented. Again- remember that "burden" means more than we can be expected to carry on our own.

"Self imposed burdens"- are burdens we assume ourselves- This really describes the over-achiever! This type of burden is not at all what God expects of His children. I am thinking of the Proverbs 31 woman here! Some women have mistakenly thought this passage of Scripture to mean that we are to be all that is described in Proverbs 31 (A true wonderwoman!) But this passage is one to look toward for encouragement and example. The woman described in Proverbs 31 is one who ordered her relationships and responsibilities- and was able to effectively order the priorities of her life. There is a fine line that we can inadvertently cross- when we assume too much responsibility in our lives. When this happens- we must re-evaluate those goals and learn to say "no" to those things that don't fit in the over all picture of our lives.

Another area of burdens is "other" imposed. An example of this is unrealistic expectations from others in the form of statements such as "You should just get over your loss." (In the case of a widow/er) Or "You should be able to work full time and get all the housework done when you get home." Sometimes they come in the form of out right commands in the case of an employer, "I expect this to be done in such and such a way or by this deadline..." These kinds of statements- while for the most part are well intended- are statements which load the recipient with new "Burdens" to carry. We must let those statements fall off of us- and refuse to pick them up and carry them. There is a saying which goes, "To thine own self be true." Another one is "Know thyself." Again, this goes back to knowing your mental, emotional, and physical capabilities and limits and knowing the goals you have for the future. Then- saying "no" to those things which you are unable to do or that are of lesser importance in the grand plan.

In the final ****ysis, it is important to examine what is burdening us-- We must define our burdens. If these burdens can be prevented- by all means- prevent them!

If the burdens you carry are "Trials out of your control" then learn to let others help you and learn to let go and let God! There are things that happen to us in life that we can not and should not carry on our own- it is a burden too great to carry by ourselves- so we must decide how to get help in moving it or it will literally break us.

Scripture illustrates that we can share in each other's burdens physically, mentally & emotionally as well as spiritually.

Let me illustrate each area for further clarification and application.
In the physical realm, for me, when Donald was in the heat of the battle with his cancer, I had to enlist friends and relatives to help me with my duties, including meal preparation, child care, errands, and help with paying some of our bills. You no doubt have heard the cliché's "it is better to give than to receive"- and I would add- much, much more difficult to be on the receiving end than on the giving end. It is humbling to ask for help. In this country, we pride ourselves in being 'go-getters' and "self-starters" and people who are "self-made" and can overcome obstacles. But sometimes pride can be the single biggest burden we carry. When I decided to let go of my pride and ask for help- I was so relieved to have the load lightened. And I was a witness first hand to watching God at work in the lives of others- blessing them through their willingness to serve. That was perhaps the biggest blessing of all! I had one friend tell me in the midst of this life storm, "Julia, don't rob others of the opportunity of letting God work through their lives in ministering to you and your family. Don't rob others from the opportunity to use their spiritual gifts on you."

You can share in one another's burdens mentally and emotionally through encouragement and sympathy. You can cheer people on with your words of encouragement, sympathy, and love both verbally and through cards and letters. I have a large size Rubbermaid plastic tote full to the brim of cards and letters we received during Donald's illness. These cards and letters did much to rally our battle weary spirits and encourage us to continue the fight against the cancer. I have another separate tote full of cards sent at the time of Donald's death and in this year following expressing sympathy and remembering important dates. The written or spoken word can do much to ease our mental and emotional burdens. Sometimes just the presence of a close friend or relative is comforting in and of itself!

You can also share in one another's burdens spiritually- through sharing our stories of heartache and grief- and then taking these troubling matters to the Lord in prayer- leaving them with Him and trusting Him with them. By praying with and for others- we ease the spiritual nature of our burdens. We can also share Scriptures and our own stories to help lighten the load others carry.

Blessings,
domoore
Galatians 6:2 "Bear one another's burdens..."