On Lauren...

[domoore]

May 22, 2008

I don’t want to be writing this. I have started this several times- and deleted- or simply closed out of Microsoft Word without saving. It gives me a headache to even try to do this. I mean- how do I explain what is going on here? I would much rather write about the standing water in my basement- or the fact that I have planted such a large garden—I might be able to feed the entire county!

I don’t even know for sure how to write this. Do I tell everyone- or just family and a select few others? By articulating this into words- it is almost as if my worst fears are already realized. Would it be safe then- to say that perhaps I am in denial of the things in front of me? Or worse still—would I be accused of being overly worried- almost as if I were looking for things that were not truly there. Both are extremes- and I like to think that instead of one or the other—I would fall in the “healthy” middle- between the two. Not in denial—but indeed very much clear thinking and aware of things right in front of me—and not overly worried- but rather- concerned. Certainly not “hoping” for the worst possible scenario—but rather prepared for the worst- and hoping and praying for the best.

Ah- but who am I fooling? Surely not myself. I am worried- and that is why I hate even to write this. I hate putting this down. I would rather forget it. I would rather not share this- and have others worrying with me. Praying—yes! Worrying – no! And so- I guess I just say it.

Lauren Julia- my six-year-old daughter is being referred to a pediatric oncologist for an “initial consultation.”

A couple of months ago- Lauren was running fevers at night. She was always better during the day time- and I would send her to school. But at night- she was lethargic and tired- and would often times run a fever. She would come home from school and just crash on the sofa- which I chalked up to being worn out from school. And then, the doctor noticed swollen lymph glands on her neck. She was put on antibiotics- and those lymph nodes went down- but not completely—though the doctor did say they were within “normal” range. Then this last week—it has been something new—itching.

Oh- for me it is de-ja-vu’. This is the SAME pattern of symptoms I witnessed in Donald- pre-Hodgkin diagnosis. Same swollen lymph nodes- take antibiotics- see the lymph nodes go down—SAME itching. Some of the same aches and pains—sneezing—yes- sneezing—all over again.

Add to this Lauren’s recent comments- about wanting to see her “Pop” and I am nearly a basket case. Is it any wonder that I do NOT want to write about this. I would rather go stick my head in the sand- thank you very much!

And so- to this—I can only ask- pray. Pray for me- pray for Lauren- pray for the other kids (they have no clue—and I plan on keeping it that way—until we know for sure what is going on…) Pray for the doctors- that we can figure this out right away—and that indeed it is NOTHING at all!

I am already doing all I can on this end. I have got the doctors on this- I have kept a diary of all her complaints- and I am praying. Worry is not an option- faith is where I stand.
Really- there is nothing anyone can do except to pray.

I very much appreciate the prayer support…
I will post again when I know more…
For now- I am exhausted... and really I know nothing more than what I have shared with you here...

In the Father’s loving care,

Julia

[Shield]

I am praying for you and your family. Please keep us updated.

[Angeline W]

Hang in there my dear friend! May God's mercy and love lift you up.
Love,
Angeline

[candlross]

Give it to God and I mean let him handle it. When I say a prayer I tell God it is what ever he wants to do it with the sickness, because we can't stop it in any way shape or form!
We have to put our trust in God when it comes to someone in the family and give the worrying to him & (of course) do alot of praying, but mostly trust God!

[Cookie Jar]

You may be sure I will be praying for Lauren. Prayer does make a difference, when we pray in faith believing.

For instance, we read in Acts 12:1-18 about the arrest of Peter by Herod (Herod had just had the apostle James put to death) and how the church was praying earnestly to God for Peter (verse 5). God delivered Peter from prison where he was bound with chains between two soldiers as well as other guards watching him. In verse 12, we are told again that the church was gathered and praying.

In James, chapter 5: 14-15: "Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well: the Lord will raise him up."

There are many more scriptures that could be mentioned. God wants us to pray for one another. Thank you, for asking us to pray for your little daughter. Jesus would want us to pray for her health concerns. May the Lord bless and keep you and your family, and may you see God's healing touch on your little daughter, Lauren.

[SpearMeadow]

Beloved Julia,

Your sweet family is, as always, in our prayers. We will continue to trust that God will give you provision, comfort, and wisdom. Know that you are not in this alone - there are countless others who are interceding on your behalf - and that we stand ready to help.

Your Sister in Christ,

Michelle Cearley
(and Philip and Matthew)

[marian prochter]

Iam praying for you and Lauren as I am writing this. I will have faith in the Lord God and will pray whenever Ithink of you-all day.
love and faith
Marian